How long does it take for a hot-water heater to properly warm up its contents?

Facing that question, I sit here dirty and moody while the water heater fulfills its destiny in my basement.

From a Karma standpoint it’s probably fortunate that the water heater pilot went out last night. There are errands on my docket for the day, but no pressing deadlines and no important interviews or meetings. We all know that the great unwashed don’t make a great first impression.

Deeper than the extrapolated result that hot water delivers, I wonder how our society got so fixated on piping hot water for cleaning ourselves and our belongings.

Multiple trips to Europe have taught me to cherish the abundance of heat AND water we get on this side of the Atlantic. Overseas, you can’t be a shower napper-the warm water envelope disappears after about 350 seconds and is replaced with needles of stinging ice shards.

I’ll admit that it’s more a psychological situation where our expectations have been built up to the point that warm water is taken for granted. Turn on the spigot and out pours clear, clean, hot water.

It’s the same as when we flip a light-switch skyward. The circuit is supposed to close and our lamp is supposed to illuminate the room.

Pause for a moment and think about how maniacal you become when the television remote has run down its batteries. It’s like an affront to your character that the ‘clicker’ would allow itself to become depleted while in your meaty paw.

The same holds true for cars that won’t start, burners that won’t light, fridges that let food spoil and computers that crash.

Isn’t there some sort of rule in place that should have prevented this? Who can we blame?

Today I almost decided to take a cold shower to embrace the European or even early settlers’ way of life. I had the towel out and the cell phone on the sink just in case the cold water caused my heart to stop.

Then I thought about those same settlers and the generations who spent centuries in cold castles and murky caves. And I realized if I am not smart enough to improve my own situation when given the tools (mental and physical) to do so, I’m doing the entire evolutionary process a disservice.

Darwin would have applauded my efforts (and success) in relighting the pilot. He’d also cheer softly that I wasn’t sitting here cursing the grime on my body while waiting for the water to heat up.

And while we’re bringing up people I’ve never met, I think Freud would say that I had advanced mentally and established a positive pattern for adapting to my environment. He’d add that I was probably a contributing member of society and then bill me $15 for my co-pay.

Had circumstances been different, would I have freaked out entirely and broken into a Holiday Inn Express to get smarter and get clean at the same time? I can’t say.

But I will tell you that in the time it’s taken me to write this, the water heater has probably done its job and I’m going to go scrub my body clean and continue my day.

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

SIx months into the Sabbatical (it’s really about five, but who’s counting) and I’m just finding out what it means to be adrift in the world of journalists, columnists and writers.

Truthfully, I’ve been writing as a journalist for about 20 years but this is my first ‘no-net’ performance on the journalism stage.

It’s difficult at times, but exhilarating. And I’ve been learning so much about my motivation and skill level.

The plan is for me to keep flinging spaghetti strands of work against the wall until something sticks. And the ultimate goal – as stated before – is to find work and a career as a columnist.

If you’re in the industry, the role of columnist isn’t that much different from that of a feature writer…you just make a little more money and have some more leeway in your topic choices.

Today I’m doing the brainstorm thing and picking new topics on which to write. I’ll post new columns almost daily – if I can – to showcase my skills.

This should work pretty well later in the week when Randy Cohen has me as a guest reader on The Ethicist radio program.

Keep watching here for new stuff. I’m done writing this recap and headed over to my desk to pound out some stuff that makes both of us think.

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

Is there anything that qualifies as a slight irony?

In my mind, things are either ironic or they’re not. And things that are coincidences are not ironic. But I won’t rant about that distinction because Alanis Morrisette has already ruined the brains of a whole generation of people who may never realize the difference.

If Alanis wer an English teacher, THAT would be ironic.

The slight irony that I allude to is my current health situation. As most of you know, I have Crohn’s Disease and was diagnosed with this illness in the 1970s. Yes, I was a mere child when I was diagnosed.

Each year I try to do my part to help the doctors and scientists cure this disease by contributing my time and paltry design skill to a golf tournament. The Grampy’s Charity Open is in its 24th year and for 2008 we’re trying to raise more than ever before.

To give you some perspective, in 2007 we gave about $80,000 to a number of charities including CCFA.

Here’s the irony. Each year as I’m getting more stressed about auction-book deadlines and machinations over compiling the video slideshow and managing the Websites, I start to experience some Crohn’s symptoms.

The way I could alleviate the symptoms would be to break the pattern and do the work earlier, but like the disease, the tournament isn’t really in my control. Ads come in at the last minute as do donations and changes to the materials we need to have on hand.

By no means is this column a complaint. It’s more of a reminder that all of us are constantly barraged by things we can’t control. And similar to the people who might drink booze with a bad liver, smoke with a bad lung, or have kids even thought they’ve got no common sense – this work is something I choose to do even thought it affects me in a not-so-healthy way.

And it affects me in a very healthy way because it could provide people like me with a cure…someday.

And isn’t that what life is supposed to be all about – balance?

Just sharing a little bit about myself today. Hope it wasn’t too tough to bear.

If you’re interested in giving to the tournament or CCFA, do so. Here are two links…have at it.

CCFA.org and Grampys.org.

Thanks in advance, from the middle of my gut. Seriously and ironically.

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

It’s not frequently that I find myself wishing that someone else’s prose was my own. Except for Hemingway and Parker and Block and Tapply and a few others. But what I’m getting at is the reticence I have to really wish an article or column had been my idea.

Today is an exception. Aside from the myriad scooter articles appearing EVERYWHERE and my repeated queries that fall on deaf editors’ ears (only to see similar stories executed in a less skillful manner by staff writers), this is one time that I really would have liked to have written a column.

This one on zombies qualifies. Just read the headline -

The Hard Question

Why don’t zombies just eat one another?

It’s funny. It’s timely. It’s introspective. It’s brilliant.

Maybe next time.

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

A while back I opened a negotiation with a mountain bike store in the Atlanta metro area. We discussed articles for his site and the possibility of a long-term association.

Well, he’s started to fill his mountain bike and fitness site with all sorts of content and one of my columns is right there on the front page.

He’s got so many experts doing work for him that my article might soon be eclipsed by other great stuff, but here’s the link if you want to go see it – Collarbone Story.

I’ll keep you in the loop as I continue my sabbatical and get more work placed in different locations.

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

Not exactly go-off-the-deep-end type of insanity, but it’s been mega busy around here.

Finally have wrapped up a bunch of projects (some work for the Boston Globe, the auction booklet for Grampy’s, started recording my questions for Randy Cohen, *this is a past link, I’ll link to my readings when they appear* and am working on the movie for the golf tournament), and still have a lot to do.

But I’m getting there and I’m finding that the more projects I have rolling along, the better my writing gets. I keep things sparse and to the point.

For example, read my last few posts at the Tour de France site. They are crisper and more fun than the blather I was tossing online in stages 2-5.

In a few minutes I’m going to take you on a little journey from brown truck to open box. Hold tight.

Oh, and then I’ll describe for you the Grampy’s event and give you more info on the stuff I’m doing for The Ethicist.

FUN FUN FUN!

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

I just realized that I’ve got a lot on my plate.

Have to get my Macbook repaired, create the auction booklet for the Grampys Tournament (there’s a post ONLY on that coming later today), clean out the office so I can put a new desk in there and maybe work without spreading out everything I own on the kitchen table, get stupid Verizon to fix my phone line – still out after 48 hours, contemplate buying an iPhone and telling Verizon to bite me, wrap up some product reviews, register and reserve flights for a writer’s conference in Atlanta in September, fix the schedule mess that is my Pawtucket Red Sox season ticket situation, change the oil on the scooter (1500 miles now!), check scooter tire air, buy a larger mattress to fit my larger bed, and flesh out the outlines of all of my books.

Further, I need to work on the Grampy’s Website – www.grampys.org, rotate my tires, fix the belt in the car, pay some bills and plot a path toward success.

Does that sound like I can do it all today?

I didn’t think so either, but my pattern is to get all this stuff on my plate and start nibbling at it until it’s either a disgusting mess of unfinished portions or until I’ve successfully completed a few and started to gather no moss on my way to the clean-plate club.

That’s the path I choose. But for now the one thing that stands out as a necessity is writing. So I’m grabbing the typing machine and heading to the beach or a coffee shop or somewhere where I can bang out some pages.

See you back here after I’ve done that. You’ll be happy because you’ll have another blog post to read. I’ll be happy because I’ll probably stop for ice cream, get my creative juices flowing and get to ride my scooter around a bit more today.

Hooray.

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

Not the weekend update with Gilda Radner or any of the SNL crew that you might remember. Nope, this weekend update is just to let you know that I’ve been busy doing some writing for a large newspaper and haven’t been concentrating on much other than that article.

Well, I have been watching the Tour de France – as usual – and blogging about that at TDF08.com.

Here’s the first of many posts for today’s Stage 15 that goes from Provence into Italy…

Stage 15 is where the heat gets turned up on the riders. The hills become alive with the whir of the cassette and the riders start to feel lactic acid build up in their legs.

Little climbers will go skyward and sprinters will abandon the tour. In fact, I’ll check with race radio in a second to see if there really are 157 riders left in the Tour at the start of this stage.

Also, even with six stages left after today, the riders get one more rest day tomorrow and then it’s north toward Paris.

If you’ve been slouching and not paying attention, the only think you’ve missed so far are two doping scandals, one team abandoning the race (an entire team), a rider from the UK winning FOUR stages and Australian Cadel Evans solidifying his hold on the overall lead.

This will be dual posted at JeffCutler.com and at TDF08.com. But if you’re rabid for racing news, come on over to TDF08.com for regular stage updates.

As always, no spoilers until after 9PM EST.

And look for more stuff here at JeffCutler.com in the coming days. I haven’t forgotten that you look here for writing tips and updates on my regular columns.

Thanks for reading!

Buzz This Post

When you’re in the role of reporter, it’s sometimes difficult to keep your perceptions away from the story you’re trying to tell.

I bring this up because about 1/4 of my newspaper stories are opinion pieces and I have to wear a different hat when spouting my thoughts to an audience instead of painting a picture for them and allowing readers to reach their own conclusions.

Right now, I have three assignments for different publications and in two of the cases I’m trying to decipher the motivation behind the subjects of my article. On the face of it, the people being featured seem straightforward. But as a skeptical reporter I want to know how – if at all – they’re going to benefit from a feature article on their organization.

It’s not that the story isn’t a good one in either case. It’s that any reporter hates to be manipulated. Beyond that, I have a control issue that makes me even more inquisitive about any behind-the-scenes machinations.

Perhaps after one of these stories comes out I’ll share the details. Neither is slated to appear anytime before this fall, so my early assessments could be way off-base.

But I urge you as a reporter/chronicler of events and people, to take things with a grain of salt and to double- and triple-check everything you’re told and that you think you know.

You might find out that the woman who saved that drowning kitten was the same person that tossed the kitten into the drink to begin with.

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

A recent SmartMoney column compared various scooter models and I feel they dropped the ball. They compared apples to oranges and weren’t fully up-front with their reasoning for some decisions and ratings.

Here’s the link to that story.

And here is a comment I left for the author…

As with any vehicle choice, a scooter might not be for everyone. Nor will the opinion of any one columnist or product reviewer mesh with the thoughts and experiences of an entire audience.

That said, this article was light on research and heavy on heavy-handedness.

I spent the better part of two years researching scooters, blogging about them and talking to shop owners, manufacturers, scooterists and motorcycle riders.

From this two-year informational journey I learned that scooters are as personal as cars. You’re not going to convince everyone that a Jaguar is a good vehicle or that a Smart Car is a smart choice for them.

In my opinion, the scooters that are being sold today stack up like so:

Vespa – good build quality, easy to work on, requires a good measure of care, costs a lot, lasts for a long time, sturdy, good MPG, nice resale value.

Genuine Scooter – best warranty in the industry, good build quality, not so easy to work on because of the design, half the price of a Vespa, easy to ride, great MPG, good resale.

Yamaha – bullet-proof designs, easy to work on, good MPG, good build quality, same price as Genuine, shorter warranty, well-supported dealer network, good resale.

Honda – lasts forever, great resale value, bullet-proof, some models are too small and underpowered, good dealer support, pricey for what you get, outstanding build quality, good gas mileage.

Suzuki – larger models mostly, solid build quality, long-lasting designs, fair gas mileage, more comparable to automatic motorcycles.

THE REST. The other brands are on-the-whole, knock-offs from China. If Vespa is a 10, Genuine, Honda, Yamaha and Suzuki are all eights. The others are threes and fours.

I wish the tester knew more about scoots, had taken some motorcycle safety courses to see how to get the most from any two-wheeled vehicle, and was more specific in the comparison of like models to like models.

I wish the columnist/reporter did a little more research so that he got more info from the tester.

In disclosure, I was mere moments from buying a Yamaha but was convinced to purchase a Genuine Scooter based on owner comments and the two-year warranty and free year of roadside assistance. The two bikes I was comparing were priced identically. Yamaha only offered one year warranty and no roadside.

You can read more of my commentary, columns and rants at any of the following sites:

http://www.jeffcutler.com

http://www.tdf08.com

http://www.bowlofcheese.com

http://www.thingstoworryabout.com

I will be posting my entire comment at jeffcutler.com this week.

Have you run into reporting that makes you crunch up your eyebrows and wonder what was motivating the writer? If so, please share.

Thanks and keep reading!

Buzz This Post