Jeff Cutler™ – columns, essays and opinions

I’ve been buried in writing projects for a bunch of clients. I’ve also been drumming up new business for corporate clients who are drinking the social-media Kool-Aid. But today I’ve got a couple minutes to share my schedule with you.

Here’s my week in a nutshell – add to it my coverage of Greener Gadgets in NYC on Friday – and you’ll understand why I’ve been looking so harried.

Hope to see you at one or all of these events!

Monday…  Skeptics

Tuesday… BU Career Fair and Networking

Wednesday…

Pechaku Boston 8

Webinar on Social Media for Business

Storytelling at MassArt

Harpoon Brewery Tweet-up ($25)

Thursday

#SMB12 at Ryles Jazz Club

Eat-up at WBUR Boston

Forrester Research Tweet-up

What are you doing this week? Please share in the comments.

Keep reading.

Buzz This Post

Tags: #smb12, @pistachio, Boston, social media

Attention span.

Mine’s short, but I refuse to refer to it as an ADD or ADHD situation as I believe those are mythical conditions created by a lazy physician and parent base. We’ll explore that opinion in another column…if I have enough where-with-all to remember.

My contention today is that it’s time to simplify. Everything. As soon as possible. There are certainly external factors forcing my hand in this decision, not the least of which are family illnesses, the cohabitation situation at my mansion and my completely frantic workload.

I take the blame for these items – except the health issues – because I’ve spent the last month working on my first novel. I finished it and have been quietly gloating the past few days. But now it’s time to get to work.

In order of importance, I must…

Write blog entries for the majority of my neglected 14 blogs;

Organize the Grampys.org site so that we can take registrations online and put up fantastic auctions;

Edit the aforementioned novel. I expect it will go through two rounds before I’m even ready to share it with my yet-to-be-named agent*;

Write a feature article for Gatehouse on holiday entertainment gift options – CDs, DVDs, and other gifts;

Finish my meeting schedule for vendor interactions while at CES in January;

Get fitted for a suit for sitboaf’s wedding;

Shop for holiday gifts – Channukah and Christmas;

Find and gobble some pumpkin pie (as nobody thought to bring any to Thanksgiving.

If you have suggestions for any of these tasks, *or are an agent looking for a literary novel – the fictional memoir of a boy whose life was shaped by the influence of his seven sisters, please contact me in the comments here.

If you’re an editor still looking for a reporter on the floor of CES in Las Vegas in January, let’s talk. My dance card is pretty full now, but I might be able to assist you before or after the event with research I’ve already completed or planned meetings.

Talk to you all soon. Head down now, gotta work.

Keep reading!

ILLUSTRATING my complete lack of attention span…the main reason I wrote this was because I have just been looking at the plethora of bookmarks and links to other sites in each of my browsers. I’m headed to clean those up – BEFORE ANY OF THE OTHER TASKS. Wow. Talk about ADD – or don’t!

Buzz This Post

Tags: #ces09, Jeff Cutler, journalism, nanowrimo, reporter, SPJ

I’ve completed the Nanowrimo challenge and written my 50K words in the month of November. Now it’s on to editing and smoothing out the manuscript.

I can’t put into words – maybe because I’ve used so many in the past three weeks – how great this feels and how energizing this task has been.

Thanks for your support and I welcome anyone to tackle this challenge next year.

Now I’m off to put some content – not the novel, just content that’s been sitting in the back of my mind – onto the 14 blogs I had chugging alone happily until the novel took over my fingers.

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

Tags: Fiction, Jeff Cutler, memoir, nanowrimo, novel, seven sisters

At my office away from the office (Panera), I tried to see how easy it would be to write 2000 words on a cohesive topic.

The exercise was part of the NaNoWriMo event coming up in less than 15 days. That’s right, National Novel-writing Month is November.

Part of my anxiety – aside from the actual word-count issue – is topic. I’m a font of silly ideas, smart commentary and unique introspective conversation starters. But that’s where it ends.

The stuff I usually write are concise and powerful 600-775 word diatribes. How can I hope to create characters, plot, description and wild action in chunks of 650 words? Further, how will I paste the whole thing together well enough to entice a major agent or publisher to take a flyer on my project?

It can’t be that hard, can it?

I mean, at every Tweet-up, cocktail party, family gathering and trip to the dentist, people bludgeon me with their ideas for books once they learn that I’m a professional writer.

Sure, I get paid to write and have done so since the days of green screens and mimeograph machines. But that doesn’t mean I’m a modern-day literary Midas.

Just look back over this rant and count the number of times I’ve used a hyphenated descriptor. That’s amateur hour, but you must concede me the errors in style as I’m trying to pound out the characters.

Nimble fingers are necessary. Just like a toy boat will tangle your tongue, you should try writing alliteration always. Or don’t.

How many words is that? 900? Not even?

C’mon. I’m going to have to do twice this amount AND make it tell a story. I think what I need is some acid. Or at least a lucid dream.

Thank god it’s Friday and I won’t have to think about this heinous challenge until Monday when I’ll be limbering up my fingers again.

What?

NaNoWriMo requires you to write EVERY day of the week? That means my trip to NYC mid-month will include some frantic banging of the keys.

And TurkeyDay will make me look like Mike Felger in a previous life. Anti-social wanker with his laptop at every family event. But it’s for the greater good.

And whatever I end up with next month better be good. And it better be greater than this collection of words.

Every day.

All month long.

Until I reach 50,000 words.

Yikes.

Keep reading…I’ll keep typing.

*Leave your thoughts on NaNoWriMo in the comments. And let me know if you’d like me to dump my daily words right here on the blog. It will give you a chance to see the novel as it travels along a path from concept to abysmal reality.

Buzz This Post

Tags: Felger, Fiction, Jeff Cutler, nanowrimo, november, procrastinate, sham, writing contest

I’m already rolling on a major rant about individuals who can’t write or understand the value of good writing. I was tempted to just let all my mistakes lie unfixed in this column so readers would see the abhorrent disaster bad writing inflicts on the senses. But I won’t do that.

Instead, I’m going to remind you that today is National Punctuation Day and there are three fun writing and punctuation sites you should visit.

These are…

English Fail

Unnecessary Quotation Marks

Apostrophe Abuse

Spend some time with these sites on regular basis and you’ll be amazed that some people can even open a can of peanut butter to feed themselves.

[EDIT] One reader contacted me after reading this post to ask me why I was so down on people who can’t write. I told him that it’s not solely that people can’t write…it’s that these very same people see themselves as fantastic writers. That’s akin to me saying I can paint masterpieces because I can open a can of paint or wield a brush. It’s like anyone saying the Indy 500 should be an easy race to drive in because it’s all left-hand turns.

As an example, go to this site and see an example of someone who believes she is an excellent writer. Then come back here and leave some comments. I’m anxious to hear what you think.

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

Tags: annoyances, bad writing, creatives, designers, idiots, journalists, Writers

I could tell you until I’m blue in the face that the New England Patriots franchise has created a class of fans that are dark in both deed and spirit. But I don’t want to color your opinion without some perspective, so I’ll paint a picture for you.

Since 1972, I’ve gone to nearly every Miami Dolphins game played in Foxborough, MA. I’ve been a Dolphins fan since before people called them the fish. Since before Dan Marino. Since before Ricky Williams. And since before any Patriots Super Bowl wins.

This year I chose not to attend the game in Foxborough for two reasons. First, I was able to donate the seats I would have used to charity and raise money for Crohn’s Disease and cancer research. Second, the fans here in New England have become far more arrogant and annoying than any fans I’ve met in my 40+ years of attending professional sporting events.

Pats fans are now the Yankees fans of the NFL, but it wasn’t always this way.

I remember going to Foxborough dressed in my leather-sleeved, wool Dolphins jacket. I would wear my Bob Griese shirt and other Dolphins gear, too. And the reception I received – regardless of the game’s outcome – was respectful and polite.

In recent years I’ve been threatened by ignorant, short-bus candidates from Patriots’ nation. They seemingly attend the games only to get drunk and berate anyone within shouting distance. This frequently includes the referees and the players on the opposing team. But it often degenerates into belittling and insulting any fans around them who have come to Foxborough to see the Patriots lose.

There is certainly a degree of competitiveness that comes out when you’re rooting for your team, and I can see that in many cases the enthusiasm for the Patriots is harmless. But it only takes one idiot to put the blood-red stain of evil on the entire fan base.

Take for instance the hit and run killing in New Hampshire earlier this year. In that incident, the victim was allegedly run down because a Yankees/Red Sox discussion turned ugly. How long until a Patriots fan does the same thing to someone from out of town?

I’m not saying I’ve ever feared for my life, and the Patriots’ management has instituted far harsher rules for fan behavior than I’ve ever seen in other parks. But is that chicken or the egg activity? And is it driven by dollars and cents rather than compassion and sense? I can’t say.

Ultimately, I’m just happy that the Patriots lost badly this week and that the experience will play itself out repeatedly for the next two weeks (Pats have a bye this week) as they try to figure out what went wrong.

I hope the loss also gives Pats fans a touch of humility and the understanding that their team has some shortcomings. The last loss the Patriots suffered before today’s was more than a year ago to these very same Miami Dolphins.

That day, the uniforms on the backs of the Dolphins were bright orange. I’m sure it doesn’t matter to Belichick, the Patriots or their fans what color took them down a peg today. I’m just glad it was the Dolphins who were able to put another black mark on the Patriots’ record.

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

Tags: arrogant, belichick, dolphins, football, foxborough, hateriots, humility, loss, new england, NFL, Patriots, red sox, Tom Brady, yankees

Today is National (or International) Talk Like a Pirate Day. It began as the musings of two guys, John Baur and Mark Summers, and has blossomed into a quasi-holiday among people who like to drink and talk like thieving sailors.

It’s a grand idea for a celebration for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that September only gets one holiday. And that poor day creates angst and anger and sadness among legions of children and parents. Labor Day signals the end of summer, the start of school, the return to real responsibilities, the end of the golf season, and so much more.

TLAPD is also great because there aren’t many pirates lurking around the highways and byways of the world. That means there’s nobody around to criticize how you say Arghhh or Yarrrrrr or Shiver Me Timberrrrrs. I prefer to give a lusty thrust with my right arm and shout Yarrrrghh! as loud as I can. I find that it’s jarring to people, but odd enough that they find some glee in playing along.

You can even host movie parties and watch famous pirate films or shows like The Princess Bride, Dodge Ball or even three or four episodes of Gilligan’s Island.

TLAPD’s placement on the calendar affords many people the opportunity to have one last cookout at the beach (quite appropriate) or lake before the weather is downright miserable.

Please hold your comments if you’re a wuss who lives in some warm and weak climatic zone. If you’re from Stuart, Florida, Manhattan Beach, California or even Asheville, NC (thanks to fact checker chrislebrun.com), you can still play along, but you’d better have some of the best pirate events the world has seen because you can host TLAPD any day of the year.

Getting back to the last reason TLAPD is a grand celebration, it’s completely frivolous. Sure, we have Halloween, but that’s been getting more serious ever since Linus found the Great Pumpkin. And we have Easter, but what is that except some egg hunts on the White House lawn and lots of hams? And who doesn’t have fun when the May Day Mole leaves a little treat in your sneaker?

But TLAPD is something larger and smaller than all that. The only reason it’s prominent today is because Dave Barry mentioned it in a column about seven years ago. Otherwise, those two pirate fanatics might be living together in a retarded-men’s home on Long Island.

Regardless, TLAPD is fun in a manageable package. You can treat it like a cool summer rain on a 90-degree day. If it doesn’t occur, you wouldn’t really miss it and it’s only around for an instant. Some people at the office might wear a pirate hat or shout some Yarrr’s your way, but that’s it.

So take hold of your inner pirate and enjoy the day. The next holiday on the calendar is October 13, Columbus Day. Who’s to say you couldn’t do a second TLAPD then? Didn’t Columbus spend a lot of time on the water? He could have been our first talking pirate here in the United States.

Think about it.

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

Tags: celebration, columbus, Column, dave barry, holiday, opinion, party, pirate, Talk Like a Pirate, United States

I’m headed to the voting booth in about an hour and I’m discouraged and amazed at the same time. Not because we live in a great country that allows us to voice our opinions by voting. Not because I am free to hop on my scooter and vote with a minimum of fuss and red tape.

I’m amazed and discouraged that someone like me – a professional journalist and self-proclaimed genius – is so ill-informed about today’s election. Essentially, my main reason for going to vote isn’t to exercise my rights, it’s to find out what the issues are and to see if I can learn something about my community, region and state through the info posted on the ballot.

Today’s election isn’t for the Presidency or any major Senate seats (I think), but it could be a primary of some sort and it could decide certain municipal issues.

The stuff I hope this election addresses are myriad and related to my life. I don’t care much about environmental issues because I think recycling wastes more energy than it saves. But I certainly care about traffic enforcement, maintaining a level playing field for communications and access providers (e.g. making it illegal for one company to hold a town hostage as the only local cable company or phone service provider), limiting cell phone firms’ ability to jack up rates and lock people into plans*, and educating cyclists, pedestrians and scooter operators that the laws of the road apply to them as well as to cars.

When it comes to government matters, I get my information in a bunch of ways. I read the papers, I listen to the news, I subscribe to podcasts, and I search the Internet. And I’m pretty sure I’m only touching the tip of the iceberg. How in the world can I be qualified to decide who is our best next leader?

I can see where some candidates might have gaping holes in their resume (Palin’s kid being pregnant out of wedlock, Palin thinking Alaska borders Russia, Palin thinking the Georgian conflict was unprovoked. Hmm, maybe I just don’t like Palin), but I don’t have any idea what goes on behind the doors of our democracy when big decisions are being made.

Does George Bush make everyone hold hands and pray? Will Obama as president put too much faith in his advisers?

So, as I hop on the scooter and get ready to vote, I bear in mind one thought. At least I’m not basing my decision on who is the best candidate by wondering if they’d be fun at a bar or interesting at the dinner table. I want my next leader to have the interests of the country in mind when he or she takes office.

And I’m part of that country. Today I’m going to prove it with just one vote.

*A recent California court ruled that termination fees levied by cell companies were illegal. I’ll follow that story for you as it unfolds. But wouldn’t it be an even better country if you could change providers at will and wield some of your own power instead of being raped for $.49 a minute?

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

Tags: AT&T, cell phone, Column, commentary, election, obama, palin dolt, palin idiot, Palin pregnant, palin zealot, president, United States, verizon

This column was first published the other day on my other blog, but I found that the more I looked at it the more I liked how it was written (back patting noted) and wanted to share it with the people who don’t subscribe to both publications.

Let me know if you like the story and the style. And tell me if it should become a podcast column as well.

Thanks!

I’m surrounded by crap and I’ve decided to unload it on other people. The way we do that here in the United States is by putting up paper signs all over town, taking an ad out in the local paper, posting a note on Craigslist, and then spending the best part of a weekend sitting at card tables surrounded by this crap while people paw through it and toss coins at us.

I’m certain that if you did this sort of thing on a city street it would be called panhandling and you’d be arrested for it. But on the back roads of New England, people find these little sales quaint.

They used to be called ‘tag’ sales because the pricing method in the past was to tie little tags to each item with a price on it. Hence, price-tags.

Now we use stickers (or the absence of stickers) to garner what we want for our junk.

I’m prone to haggling. I think without tags people are either frozen and can’t buy anything OR they bid high and you leave with more money than you planned. Clownface feels differently. She says that her goal in the yard sale process is to rid herself of everything and if she makes any money, that’s a bonus.

One big problem is that I remember with glee and a sense of nostalgic economics, when and where I got something, the feelings that the item evoked, and pretty much what it cost.

I want to get a couple hundred bucks for each camera I’m selling this Saturday, but I’ll probably get about $15 each. That will pain me.

There are also some cassettes. It doesn’t matter that I can’t listen to them anymore or that I’m not inclined to digitize them and add them to my iTunes library. But it does matter that CF put a price of $3 on nearly 120 tapes. Thinking back, each one of those – even if it was a K-Mart bargain bin buy – went for more than $3. That’s a loss of about $357 just to save a little space.

I know I’m going to take a bath on the N64 system too. I hardly ever play it, but I put a ton of cash into the games and the accessories. Maybe I should list that separately and see what it will bring on the video game boards.

And then there are the dishes and multiple household implements that are now duplicates with CF’s recent migration to Hingham. Stuff I bought a year ago at IKEA is going for a song. So are the glass dishes I bought in 1984. Maybe some of the stuff on the chopping block should have been there a while ago.

Is letting go of belongings something only humans do? And then, is it something in which only a percentage of the population partakes?

Think of the havoc that’s wreaked when a building or home burns to the ground. The horror can’t be just that a dwelling is gone. It’s got to be partially the loss of belongings. But the prevailing wisdom says that people can’t be replaced and that stuff is just here to remind us of the people who can’t be replaced. So what’s with the long faces? Why the shrieks of despair?

In a move that anyone with half a brain should duplicate, I put my photos and music and essential files on a backup drive and then backed that backup drive up as well. Now I have no fewer than three copies of my important files and memories, and I’m still not calm.

I can’t wrap my head around the reasons for this separation anxiety, but that’s probably all it is.

The other day I was thrown off kilter when I found that the Ramen Noodles had been moved to a cabinet across the room. My sense of balance was offended and my world was tipped a few degrees sideways for a second.

Are some of us so uneasy with change that selling a mix tape from 1985 necessitates a psychologist referral? Don’t you think I could probably function productively without Perfect Dark, that fabulous futuristic game on N64?

You’re right. I’m probably too infantile to take to this new situation of a trimmed-down pile of stuff right away. But you’re also right if you think that I will adapt and the money earned by foisting my crap on other people will ease my pain a little.

C’mon by. And come on buy!

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

Tags: capitalism, emotions, life, psyche, style, writing, yard sale

The recent admission by Lance Armstrong that he’s planning to try and win an eighth Tour de France title has me reeling. I’ve seen Lance in the Tour IN PERSON twice and would likely make every effort to attend his next attempt if he follows through with this promise.

Here’s are two shots I took of Lance in 2005 on the slopes of the Alps near Courchevel France. One is of the finish on the Alps, one is of the downhill start the next day.

You can see that he’s all alone and is hammering up the hill. OK, you can see only that he’s alone. And he actually came in second on that stage, but it was great to see him in person and to have the ability to take photos and report on the event.

In the other shot you can see he’s in yellow and poised to win his 7th Tour de France.

That’s what I’m thinking about today as I look forward to assignments at CES in January and Spring Training in Florida in February and March.

If you’re at a news outlet and need a versatile freelancer for these types of assignments, gimme a shout in the comments on this post or send me an email… jeff (@) jeffcutler (dot . ) com.

Oh, if you want the full resolution shots I took at the 2005 Tour de France, get in touch. I’m willing to sell one-time rights.

Keep reading!

Buzz This Post

Tags: courchevel France, cycling, freelance, lance armstrong, september 2008, tour de france, vanity fair