It’s a grand idea for a celebration for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that September only gets one holiday. And that poor day creates angst and anger and sadness among legions of children and parents. Labor Day signals the end of summer, the start of school, the return to real responsibilities, the end of the golf season, and so much more.

TLAPD is also great because there aren’t many pirates lurking around the highways and byways of the world. That means there’s nobody around to criticize how you say Arghhh or Yarrrrrr or Shiver Me Timberrrrrs. I prefer to give a lusty thrust with my right arm and shout Yarrrrghh! as loud as I can. I find that it’s jarring to people, but odd enough that they find some glee in playing along.

You can even host movie parties and watch famous pirate films or shows like The Princess Bride, Dodge Ball or even three or four episodes of Gilligan’s Island.

TLAPD’s placement on the calendar affords many people the opportunity to have one last cookout at the beach (quite appropriate) or lake before the weather is downright miserable.

Please hold your comments if you’re a wuss who lives in some warm and weak climatic zone. If you’re from Stuart, Florida, Manhattan Beach, California or even Asheville, NC (thanks to fact checker chrislebrun.com), you can still play along, but you’d better have some of the best pirate events the world has seen because you can host TLAPD any day of the year.

Getting back to the last reason TLAPD is a grand celebration, it’s completely frivolous. Sure, we have Halloween, but that’s been getting more serious ever since Linus found the Great Pumpkin. And we have Easter, but what is that except some egg hunts on the White House lawn and lots of hams? And who doesn’t have fun when the May Day Mole leaves a little treat in your sneaker?

But TLAPD is something larger and smaller than all that. The only reason it’s prominent today is because Dave Barry mentioned it in a column about seven years ago. Otherwise, those two pirate fanatics might be living together in a retarded-men’s home on Long Island.

Regardless, TLAPD is fun in a manageable package. You can treat it like a cool summer rain on a 90-degree day. If it doesn’t occur, you wouldn’t really miss it and it’s only around for an instant. Some people at the office might wear a pirate hat or shout some Yarrr’s your way, but that’s it.

So take hold of your inner pirate and enjoy the day. The next holiday on the calendar is October 13, Columbus Day. Who’s to say you couldn’t do a second TLAPD then? Didn’t Columbus spend a lot of time on the water? He could have been our first talking pirate here in the United States.

Think about it.

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© Jeff Cutler for Jeff Cutler - columns, essays and opinions, 2008. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: celebration, columbus, Column, dave barry, holiday, opinion, party, pirate, Talk Like a Pirate, United States

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Today I was walking out of the post office and ran into a former client of mine. This woman ran a boating magazine for years and was adept at covering the marine industry efficiently and completely. In the region, she was respected and revered for her fair reporting and thoroughness.

She told me that she sold the publication and was still doing work for them until they cut their rates and turned the focus of the paper into advetorials and mere PR pieces.

As we went back and forth filling each other in on our career moves, I thought about the journey every writer has traveled in his or her writing journey.

I started penning columns for the Hingham High School paper about 27 years ago. I wrote a regular column and was recognized for my contributions.

Then, in college, I had a regular column for a number years in the Northeastern News. I received an award and some random accolades for those columns.

After that I wrote sports recaps for New England Sports Network, news features and articles for the Mariner chain of weeklies, a bunch of columns for assorted biking publications, and some opinion pieces for a mountain biking member magazine.

But sometimes a path of success has a bump or two in it. 20 months ago I thought that I had finally reached a success launching pad with my own column in the Boston Herald-owned Hingham Journal. I was crafting Writer’s Block pieces for them regularly and getting paid for them.

I saw this as recognition I was worthy of and the door to great things like a desk near Dave Barry’s office, someone on NPR critiquing my work, and dare I say Nobel or Pulitzer. Then the field shifted.

Gatehouse Media took over the chain of weeklies and slashed the budget. My editor was stripped of the ability to pay for quality columnists and the paper started to put in PR-esque blurbs from local business owners. Some columns had the appearance of real journalism, but if you read carefully you could find the agenda.

And I thought all was lost.

But I took pains to maintain my integrity and not give away my writing unless I could see it as a step toward eventual columnist and opinion writer success. That may have started to appear again at Gatehouse.

Just last week – almost a year after I told them I wouldn’t write columns unless they could pay me – I submitted a column to the paper and they snatched it up.

Our agreement doesn’t include paper money or mineral coins, but the exposure assists me in keeping my credentials current and my clips fresh.

So, going back to my marine writer colleague, I empathize with her plight and that of all writers who are faced with giving it away or not working at all.

My advice to her – and to you – is to see what gains you get from having a piece in print and then make a decision. My latest piece at Gatehouse can be viewed at Can you afford not to buy a scooter.

If you do go read it, do me a favor and leave a comment. It will help all writers by making management aware that the columns produced by professionals do create a buzz, get people to think and are worth more than just a byline.

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Post tags: byline, columnist, dave barry, gatehouse, gatehouse media, hingham, hingham journal, hingham mariner, Jeff Cutler, journalist, marine, mariner, scooter

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Here’s what I’ve done so far…

Wrote and submitted a column for SavvyAuntie.com.

Wrote a note to Dave Barry and already received a response. I’m planning to ask a few questions about column writing and the path to prominence. So far everything I’ve heard back from the Barry camp has been positive.

In the same vein, I wrote a note to Dan Shaughnessy and Brian McGrory at the Boston Globe. My hope is that they will speak with me briefly about breaking into the ranks of respected and published Globe columnists.

Brainstormed a new story idea for submission to a daily paper.

Got a note from an editor regarding some of my queries.

Ate a jello parfait.

Apart from the demolition of the parfait, my day has been quite productive so far. I hope it continues.

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Post tags: boston globe, brainstorm, Brian McGrory, columnist, commentary, dave barry, jello, newspaper, queries, Savvy Auntie, Shaughnessy

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You shouldn’t be surprised that a big part of writing is also business. Instead of being ensconced in an office where the record-keeping and the payroll and the lunch and the HVAC and the security is taken care of…being the full-time freelancer is a job that requires many hats.

Let’s not get off topic and think of Mr. Wonka and his assortment of hats, but there are days that are going to include fewer key banging and more phone calls, errands and mundane office work.

After my recent Key West research trip, where I learned more about Hemingway, I have begun to think that old Ernest had it pretty well. His wife (and all his wives) looked after the house while all he had to do was wander to his studio for 700 words and then to the harbor to go fishing and the bar to get completely littered.

Maybe he had something. This post isn’t quite 700 words, but I know I’ve written something on the order of 2000 today in various forms. Maybe it’s time to go put the bike rack on the car and do a little brainstorming in the woods on the mountain bike.

And maybe it’s time to sit right here in the library and get some more ideas down on paper. Tomorrow will be 80° so if I get Wednesday’s work done today then the biking or other stuff can happen outside in a day.

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© Jeff Cutler for Jeff Cutler - columns, essays and opinions, 2008. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: biking, boston globe, dave barry, david sedaris, Hemingway, Jeff Cutler, letters, novel

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