Mega Weekend Edition

May 26, 2006

This post will have to be a compilation of ideas and thoughts from the preceding week because I’ve become a scatter-brained, blathering, one-armed paper hanging moron.

OK, OK, I’m not a moron and I hate to wallpaper or paint. But I’m losing my mind and have had about a billion great ideas for Blog posts, but I haven’t had the time or inclination to get them down on electronic paper and up into the ether.

So here are some mini-posts. If you need a daily Bowl of Cheese fix, then just read one of these at a time. Rocket Girl – this means YOU!

Clumsy. It’s not what I am, it’s currently who I am. It doesn’t help, I imagine, that I’m well over my fighting weight of 171. But my spatial acuity has gone the way of the $1.87 gallon of gas.

Similar to a puppy, an adolescent boy or Gerald Ford, I’m bumping into things, knocking stuff over and just doing my own personal Chevy Chase skit on a regular basis. In fact, when nutmeg and I were in charge of Rocket Girl and Solar Boy’s house (NO NOTHING GOT BROKEN), I enjoyed a sprained ankle all weekend.

The ankle injury wasn’t the result of any actual activity other than going to get the laundry at my house before I hopped in my pocket car and ventured out to house sit. It seems that when I clamored down the rock outside my front door and used it as a shortcut to the basement, I might have jammed my ankle when I delicately landed on another rock.

Thinking back, THAT was NOT the event that did it….see how my brain isn’t up to speed!!??? As a side-note, I think the coffee has something to do with this. I have started drinking coffee occasionally and now I have lost the ability to think without it. Coffee is the worst legal ‘drug’ we have in this country. It requires better regulation and tariffs.

OK. The ankle Рand by the way, this so-called ‘multi-post’ will actually only be one post. Once I got rolling, I figured the topic is large enough for one entry and I’ll prepare a couple others with the other stuff I was going to say here.

ALSO, coffee does not give you ADD because ADD is like the unicorn, the pot of gold and the common-sense democrat, IT DOESN’T EXIST.

ANKLE. I know recall that when the plow comes by the house in the winter, it scrapes away a ledge at the edge of my yard next to the street. I park on the street because dogs poop in my driveway and I quickly got tired of getting out of my car and into a pile of crap. Some might argue that my little Scion is a pile of crap, but I continually digress.

So, the car is parked at the side of the yard next to the 4-inch ledge. My neighbor, let’s call her Lisa because that’s her name, came home from work as I was getting ready to go north to house sit. I hadn’t seen her for a while and thought I might make some pleasant conversation.

So, as I ambled across the lawn and descended the curve of the grass toward the street, I paid more attention to Lisa than I did to the act of walking. At the ledge, I SEVERELY twisted my ankle. But, as any guy knows, I pretended it didn’t hurt and ignored it while she and I chatted.

Then, since I am not ADD Рbut have a tiny attention issue because of the illegal coffee РI completely forgot about my catastrophic injury until later that night at Rocket Girl and Solar Boy’s house when it started to swell.

I thought it was the result of some other activity, but it now seems clear that it was caused by Lisa across the street. And I blame her.

More to come…