August 26, 2007
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That when trying to color your hair blond, a bit of the bleaching agent will get in your eye and immediately destroy your vision—causing at once two problems…that you won’t be able to balance in the shower and will likely fall through the glass door and cut yourself to ribbons; […]
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August 26, 2007
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That when you find yourself foraging for your golf ball in the thick underbrush, a snake will mistake your ankle for a tasty rodent and attach its fangs to your leg just above the Achilles so you topple sideways into poison ivy, poison oak and a deceptive puddle of quicksand.
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July 5, 2007
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That while riding along on your bike behind a parade, the parade participants will stop suddenly (as parades are wont to do) and you will slam on your bike’s brakes successfully bringing your cycle to complete stop — but in that millisecond that you remain upright, you will realize that […]
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July 2, 2007
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That the air conditioner that you left in the basement or on the porch all winter is now home to funnel-web spiders and brown recluse spiders and all manner of killing insects and that the device will spray these critters all over you while you rest in your cool bedroom […]
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