Betting on Bed Badness

June 1, 2008

That as you slow for a stoplight or pedestrian or dog or any other road hazard, the $1000 bed frame you just purchased at IKEA and strapped to the top of your tiny car will rocket forward like…well, like a rocket, and splinter into a billion pieces.

Then, as you roll slowly forward, your tires will all get punctured by the hazardous fiberboard and the car will sink down on its haunches.

THEN, an 18-wheeler will barrel along down the road and won’t see your tiny car because it has dropped to its knees and is sitting like a speed bump in the path of the monstrous vehicle.

Finally, you’ll get crushed into the pavement by the truck and come to your final resting place – ironically – among the detritus that once was your new bed.