Lawn Lacerations and Limb Loss

June 5, 2011

While you ride your scooter or bicycle on the highways and byways of this great land, you’ll notice good folks mowing their lawns and keeping their yards manicured and pristine. With these little two-stroke engines, people chop grass and sometimes fling detritus in the air. It is this detritus with which we are concerned.

You see, as you pedal along (or buzz by), rocks are fired at you with tremendous speed because the mower has neglected to realize that parallel mowing can impact passersby. You – a passerby – are subsequently struck by a sharp rock that slices cleanly through your elbow joint and arm, leaving you without any control over the handlbar of your vehicle.

Then, as you veer toward the municipal bus – speeding as usual toward you while the driver text messages her order for a lunch cake – you understand the fear early pilots had when walking around prop planes. And, just before the impact that takes your life, you think about your own lawn and how brown and dead it will get without you around to tend to it. To the very last, worried too much about what others might think of your outward appearance and too little about your inner beauty.