December 21, 2008
That when you’re done clearing off your car in the frigid depths of winter, you’ll reach for the house door handle – metal – and your wet skin will attach itself to said metal door handle. Being frightened by the sensation, you’ll jump backward pulling the door with you. The weight of your body and the leverage of your falling torso will yank the door from the hinges. With hand still stuck to the handle, you’ll slice yourself open from nose to nether regions and bleed to death on the pristine winter wonderland that is your front yard.