Tub Terror

November 14, 2013

That when you’re basking luxuriously in the tub, almost drifting off to sleep, the cat enters the bathroom and exhibits her usual curious behavior. As she’s shorter than the tub wall, she jumps up to see what’s going on in the tub and unlike most cats is unable to keep her balance when landing on a flat surface and tumbles into the tub.

Next up is a mix of Tasmanian Devil-like whirling, claws like sabers ripping at flesh, some random howling from both the cat and you, and a formerly crisp, white bubble bath now a horrid shade of Amityville Horror red. As you compose yourself and take inventory – sadly missing large chunks of flesh from your body – you realize one of the cat claws punctured your femoral artery and as you drift beneath the sea of red, you wonder if anyone will be able to figure out how you died when they find you later in a bath of your own blood.