Clemens is not rainman

May 6, 2007

What I mean by that statement isn’t that Clemens is smart. He’s not. He’s actually just the prototypical dumb jock who gets offended by stuff he can’t understand, and he consistently behaves in a reactionary and irrational manner to anyone who questions his decisions.

Since he’s clearly on steroids still and Major League Baseball doesn’t have the moral fortitude to do the right thing, I guess we’re stuck watching this dolt for at least the rest of this season and maybe another.

Now, the reason Clemens is even making it into Bowl of Cheese is his recent appearance as a New York Yankee. It’s not just a flash in the pan, he’s joined Jeter and A-Rod for the rest of the 2007 season in the Bronx.

He solidifies their rotation and immediately makes them a more serious contender for the pennant. He also brings a brighter spotlight onto the ‘realistic’ expectations big George has for his team this year – which will make it sweeter for thousands of Red Sox fans when they fail to accomplish again this year.

But as Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe mentioned a few weeks back, we shouldn’t care so much. The rivalries of old are gone. There is no animosity between NY and Boston, save what the kids on Huntinton Ave feel about the Long Island immigrants over on Commonwealth Ave.

So let’s just play baseball and see if Clemens can at least entertain us some more. Maybe he’ll name another kid something like Katchup or Karlsbad or Krispy Kreme or Koola. And perhaps he’ll throw a baseball through an umpire’s chest protector with his 21-year-old, ‘roid-enhanced shoulder.

Or maybe he’ll just rock back and forth in his stance chanting “I’m an excellent pitcher, I’m and excellent pitcher” just before he gets lit up for back to back to back to back homers next time the Yankees come to town.

Bring on the rain.

More to come…