Dashing Superheroes

March 9, 2007

When asked recently what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said Aquaman.

I’ll wait while you clean the Diet Coke off your blouse or desk or dashboard. OK, let’s continue.

I think the reason I wanted to be Aquaman was a belief that I was going to be powerful and helpful and innately good to people. But also that I wasn’t going to be the top hero. I knew, even at an early age, that my weaknesses were real and while I might want super vision or the ability to run faster than light or even the skill to swing from a hair-thin spider web, it probably wouldn’t happen.

But I did take swimming lessons and could hold my breath for a long time, so Aquaman it was. *I also wanted to be a blond – mostly because a lot of parents would coo over infants with blond hair and I like to be cooed over.

The other variable that affected my decision to be a superhero like our friend AM was my collection of comic books. I had everything from Richie Rich to Archie to Spiderman to the Flash to Superman and Batman. I even had some Duck Tales and some ‘Classic Grimm’s’ fairy tales.

Add to this a short attention span (some politically correct people who get horribly offended when I say that white is the new black* might call this ADD) and the ease at which a comic book can be enjoyed, and you’ve got a recipe for an addiction to fantasy.

Fast forward about 30 years and look around. Spiderman has his third movie coming out. Batman has his 27th. Superman has died once and come back to life. And Captain America has just bit the dust for good.

According to sources at Marvel, Cap has outlived his usefulness as a hero and he has been written out of the future comic universe. I think this is disgraceful because of what Captain America stands for, and also because I was unable to get my hands on one of the soon-to-be-priceless copies of that final issue.

As you all know, Captain America stands for stem cell research. He was the product of scientific tampering and would have remained a weak and ineffective clerk if not for stem cells and genetic manipulation.

It’s too bad he’s no longer with us. Perhaps the Wonder Twins will step in to take his place. In the meanwhile, I’ll continue to fly the Captain America flag by periodically putting a bust of Cap on my dashboard,

Captain America

and standing for what I believe in.

Luckily, I think I can do that. I wasn’t a genetic experiment success, but as it turns out, I am powerful as a writer, I am helpful as a person and I like to think I toe the line pretty well on the good side. I may not be Captain America or even Aquaman, but I continue to make a positive splash in the ocean of life every day.

More to come…

*Dunkin Donuts White Hot Chocolate is the new trend in beverages and their slogan SHOULD be White is the new Black.