Hello Buddy

June 5, 2008

Occasionally we call the dog “buddy” or a friend “buddy”, but you’ve realized right away (because you’re a smart Bowl of Cheese reader) that the word in the title is capitalized. That means it’s either a proper name or the style guide on this blog dictates that all title words have initial caps. We won’t delve into the style guide right now, but be assured that the word “buddy” is capitalized because it’s the name of the scooter model I just purchased.

“Scooter?” you shout.

“Yes, scooter,” I say.

I purchased a scooter and today was the inaugural ride. The plan was to take a short jaunt down the coast on my bright orange – some say Tangerine – colored scooter.

But not all plans work out. Here’s what went horribly awry with parts of my plan today…
1 – the idiot woman at the Registry of Motor Vehicles didn’t possess the power or the intelligence to process my registration. She as much as admitted that the Registry still doesn’t know how to deal with scooters. And she made me jump through hoops to get this brand new scooter registered. I’m still going to have to wait a week or more while corrected paperwork comes back from the dealer. Then I get to visit the Registry again and spend quality time with this heinous woman.

This isn’t a real photo of her because I bet the RMV would find some law to lock me up if I took photos while I was waiting in line.

2. The weather made it a real challenge to even walk outside today much less ride. Whipping winds and driving mist blanketed the region for the better part of the morning, but weather people assured me that it would burn off in the afternoon. They lied. It’s 2:15 right now and I’ve just stopped shivering. Yes, I went for a ride. But the conditions were ridiculous.

3. Did I mention that the woman at the Registry was ugly AND dumb? At one point while I was in line, she called the RMV’s phone assistance hotline with a question about titles for scooters and was put on hold. She then asked me to take a seat while she waited on other customers and waited for the Registry to answer their phone. It’s so insane even Monty Python wouldn’t make a skit about it.

In my dumbfounded stupor I sat down on the bench and wondered if I had done something wrong to the universe recently.

It was then I decided to get some modifications done to my scooter just in case one of the Registry people ever crossed my path while I was scooting about.

To recap…

I bought a scooter
It must still have plates issued for it but I’m allowed to ride it until they arrive
People at the Massachusetts Registry are not blessed with intelligence
Orange is a cool color
The weather is always changing

Any questions?

Oh, at the end of my ride I filled the scooter with gas. It took $4 which was about .939 gallons.

More to come…