It’s bigger than me

January 12, 2008

The philosophy behind my Hatriotism is simple…I hate the Patriots.

It’s been this way all my life and in the same way a dog will chase a car or a snapping turtle will chomp fiercely on anything that pokes it in the snout, I cannot help myself.

It began in the era of Grogan and Cunningham and Tatupu and Hannah. I hated them too. I was a fan of Griese and Kiick and Morris and Czonka and Warfield. A Miami Dolphins’ fan.

As funny as it might have seemed (and probably seems less so if you’ve experienced my fashion sense), I also liked the colors. Sure, the Hatriots were Red and White (later turned to Blue and white (just like the Red Sox move to Blue from Red)…colors that a little boy can get behind. But I liked the Aqua, Orange and White of my Dolphins.

So today that resolve is once again tested. I’ll be surrounded by friends and family who are Hatriots’ fans through inbreeding and stupidity. They don’t see the cheating or the immorality of the team’s players. They only see stardom, championships and community.

I’m sad I was sick earlier this week because I would have purchased the Hatriots.com domain name and created hundreds of Hate the Patriots entries. I would have drawn out the army of football haters and Pats bashers. I would have been able to host my own celebratory gathering of football fas who would be pleased to see the team go 16-1 this year.

But I’m doing it alone again. There are fins fans out there like Jim Fenton and Tommy and legions of friend in CT and PA and SC and FL. But I’m here in the frigid Northeast—where the temperature is just one indicator of the cold shoulder I constantly try to give the hometown team.

Go Hatriots! I mean it, just go.

More to come…