Of Cats and Coyotes

May 11, 2009

When the genius student steps off the curb in Boston and is smushed against the grill of a bread truck, we don’t really weep that hard. Seriously. He or she had it coming and it’s essentially a evolution play by the bread company.

The same probably holds true with animals but increasingly, people are going to extremes to hang onto their pets and protect them from the world.

Aren’t these the same creatures that would gut us in the wild? The big cats of the jungle and the wild dogs of the plains. These vicious animals would be compunction-free when snacking on our intestines and organs, so why are we so loathe to let them roam free and fend for themselves?

I can see the goldfish or the pretty bunny rabbit getting protection – unless you’re living in a Monty Python skit.

But c’mon, saving greyhounds and house cats and lab rats is insanity.

Respectively, greyhounds are well paid and like to race. When they’re done we have to kill them so they don’t run away. We can’t have dogs running rampant all across America.

And house cats are too prevalent in the United States. There’s at least one cat for each house (hence the name), so we’ve had to enlist coyotes and dump trucks to thin the herd. I’m not saying some cats shouldn’t be treated well, but they’re few and far between.

Most cats are scratchy and needy. Feed them too much and they take over the sofa and hiss at you. Feed them too little and then they’re barely enough for a snack when you turn 79 and run out of Deviled Ham.

That brings me to coyotes. I’m not a fan of keeping coyotes as pets for a few reasons, but they are necessary. Mostly because people wouldn’t listen to Bob Barker before he died and now Americans aren’t listening to Drew Carey. Spay and Neuter Your Pets!

If not, the survival of the fittest will have to take over and you may never see the little coyote snacks in the photos above again.

Feel better about warm, fuzzy pets? I thought so.

More to come…