The Insanity of Coffee

August 7, 2011

My friend Mike Langford just moved to Austin, TX. While I still can’t fathom why he’d leave the glory and pain of hundreds of inches of snow behind, I have a bigger question. How much coffee did he drink when driving his car to Texas from Boston?

You see, I have a tea problem, not a coffee problem. I also have a sushi, candy and beer problem…but those are topics for another day. What I have ranted about in the past – and will continue to visit in the future – is the reality of coffee as a drug.

But let’s not digress. The people with a coffee problem are enigmas to me. And in that crowd – maybe one of the most coffee-addicted folks on the planet and certainly west of the Mississippi, now, is Mike Langford.

So to him I turn when asking coffee questions. And here’s how a typical conversation might go.*

*I didn’t have this conversation with him because today is the day AFTER his move to Austin with the entire family and I didn’t want to pester him with my need for content when he’s probably dealing with three crying family members who have traveled 1400 miles in a day and are now in strange surroundings.

Here’s the interview…

JC – What is your fascination with coffee and are you a coffee purist or addict?

ML – Coffee has been tested as a substitute for blood in humans. The Trenta project is the result of that test. And I am a purist. If I could, I would grow my own beans and own a mule.

JC – Why do like Dunkin Donuts so much? And what will you do now that you’ve moved out of their primary region?

ML – I have found a way to get my Dunkin fix here in Austin. It’s a complicated process, but simply put it requires me to buy some Starbucks and cut it with water. Essentially, an ounce of Starbucks makes a gallon of Dunkins coffee.

JC – How has your background as a financial investments expert affected your lust for coffee?

ML – Coffee is a commodity. While I’m not a commodities trader, there are specific indicators to watch when making any investment decision. For coffee, I make many of my purchases when I get that little “free drink” card in the mail from Seattle. Then I go for the Trenta Iced Americano, bring it home and sip it while making my two boys wash my car.

JC – You seem like a typical coffee lover. Anything you’d like to add?

ML – Yes. I’m thinking of starting a coffee empire and video show ala Gary Vaynerchuk’s Wine Library TV. I’m going to call my new show NomXBean. It’s going to be all about the coffee I have after lunch.

Well, there you have it. Mike Langford of Socialware giving his thoughts (not really) on his avocation (really!) coffee in all its forms and manifestations.

What are you drinking?