Weight just a minute

March 2, 2007

I KNOW, that’s not how you spell wait (homonyms are grate). But I was in the men’s lounge* earlier today and tried out the scale. It’s really newfangled and can probably calculate body-fat index and your IQ, but I just wanted to check out my weight.

So, after taking about four minutes to figure out how to turn the thing on (see IQ post from the other day), I hopped on board and found out that my box-with-sticks physique has become more solid.

This isn’t solid in a good way. And I was a bit depressed to realize that my regular sessions on the Brookstone uSurf haven’t been of much help in transforming me into an Adonis. But I’ll continue to uSurf a couple times a week and look elsewhere to see where I might have gone wrong in my quest for thinness.

Maybe it’s just science. Perhaps my fat has turned to muscle and that weighs much more than flabby fat fat. Probably not.

Or, it might be the turning of the earth on its axis that has pressed my body harder into the ground. Nah, I think as we get closer to spring there could be less force on my body, not more.

More realistically, it could also be the amount of fluid and sushi I had at lunch.

Only one way to find out. Luckily, I weighed myself pre-activity so I had a baseline with which to work. Memorizing this number I entered the chamber and did my business.

Feeling lighter, I got back on the scale to compare my measured mass.

Brace yourself…right about now you’re thinking, “Hmmm, he’s going to say, ‘NO DIFFERENCE’.” Well, you’re absolutely wrong.

I went in and weighed 195.4 pounds.

I left the men’s room weighing a svelte 194.0 pounds.

Mystical forces at work? Only you can decide.

More to come…

*Why are the toilet areas for women called lounges when the toilets for men are called the can or the crapper or the bathroom? I have begun calling the local men’s room the lounge in hopes that we get a crying couch and some vending machines put in. A magazine rack, some iPod docks and a flatscreen would be nice too.