Pirates. That’s right I’m talking ABOUT Pirates today, not LIKE A PIRATE.

September 18, 2008

Today is National (or International) Talk Like a Pirate Day. It began as the musings of two guys, John Baur and Mark Summers, and has blossomed into a quasi-holiday among people who like to drink and talk like thieving sailors.

It’s a grand idea for a celebration for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that September only gets one holiday. And that poor day creates angst and anger and sadness among legions of children and parents. Labor Day signals the end of summer, the start of school, the return to real responsibilities, the end of the golf season, and so much more.

TLAPD is also great because there aren’t many pirates lurking around the highways and byways of the world. That means there’s nobody around to criticize how you say Arghhh or Yarrrrrr or Shiver Me Timberrrrrs. I prefer to give a lusty thrust with my right arm and shout Yarrrrghh! as loud as I can. I find that it’s jarring to people, but odd enough that they find some glee in playing along.

You can even host movie parties and watch famous pirate films or shows like The Princess Bride, Dodge Ball or even three or four episodes of Gilligan’s Island.

TLAPD’s placement on the calendar affords many people the opportunity to have one last cookout at the beach (quite appropriate) or lake before the weather is downright miserable.

Please hold your comments if you’re a wuss who lives in some warm and weak climatic zone. If you’re from Stuart, Florida, Manhattan Beach, California or even Asheville, NC (thanks to fact checker chrislebrun.com), you can still play along, but you’d better have some of the best pirate events the world has seen because you can host TLAPD any day of the year.

Getting back to the last reason TLAPD is a grand celebration, it’s completely frivolous. Sure, we have Halloween, but that’s been getting more serious ever since Linus found the Great Pumpkin. And we have Easter, but what is that except some egg hunts on the White House lawn and lots of hams? And who doesn’t have fun when the May Day Mole leaves a little treat in your sneaker?

But TLAPD is something larger and smaller than all that. The only reason it’s prominent today is because Dave Barry mentioned it in a column about seven years ago. Otherwise, those two pirate fanatics might be living together in a retarded-men’s home on Long Island.

Regardless, TLAPD is fun in a manageable package. You can treat it like a cool summer rain on a 90-degree day. If it doesn’t occur, you wouldn’t really miss it and it’s only around for an instant. Some people at the office might wear a pirate hat or shout some Yarrr’s your way, but that’s it.

So take hold of your inner pirate and enjoy the day. The next holiday on the calendar is October 13, Columbus Day. Who’s to say you couldn’t do a second TLAPD then? Didn’t Columbus spend a lot of time on the water? He could have been our first talking pirate here in the United States.

Think about it.

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